Where You At?

Where am I at? Where do I want to be? Where should we be as a family?

Those are the ever on going questions that I have been dealing with. Time for honesty. When Mark and I moved back from Saipan we thought it was going to be a good move. Now don't get me wrong it has been a good move, we are able to spend time with family whenever we want, we get to let the grandparent's watch Hatley grow up, we get to enjoy 4 seasons instead of 2, we have started Young Life here in Garfield-Palouse and now get to continue watch it grow over the years to come... Life here on the Palouse has been good.

BUT...

There is a but.... I want to know where we are supposed to be at? Where am I supposed to be at? I love being a stay at home mommy, more then anything. I love the time I get to have with Roo, I love the fact that I am the one teaching her about life, I love that I can supply my family with home cooked meals and most of the time a clean house. I love that I can help out Mark with Young Life nad the other ministries he is involved in. I love being part of the ministries that I am involved in, Once a month cooking, ladies craft night, etc. But with all these things I am still feeling lost. Where should I be at?

Since moving home from Saipan, I have held 2 1/2 jobs. One was at the school as a paraeducator in the pre-school classroom. I loved working with that age, but when you have gone from a full time 3rd grade teacher to a teacher's aide it is hard, and financially the pay didn't make sense when we are having to pay for child care... So I found another job as a part time administrative assistant in a financial advising firm, I liked my job. I loved the people I worked with... The hours were good, and the pay was okay... but we needed something more. SO, after 9 months, I took on a full time job with a local hospital as a developmental specialist, best part was Hatley was going to be able to go to the same facility I was at while I worked... this job lasted for 3 days. It was hard, Hatley hated it (I know she would have gotten used to it), and the job, well, the job discription was 100% different then what I was actually doing. IT WAS HORRIBLE. So, now what am I doing? I am a permanent sub in our school district in the Family and Consumer science class while they hire a new teacher. I would apply, but I am not certified in FCS.

So the question as always is where am I supposed to be at? Financially I have to work. Mark and I are currently taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University class. Mark has taken it before and we have used alot of the methods throughout our marriage, but this is the first time I have actually gone to a class. AND AM LEARNING SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH. And I want to be debt free. I want to be home with my kids, I want us to own our own home, I want Mark to relax and not be worried all the time. I want peace for our family.

I know this sub job isn't going to last forever, and I will go back to those random calls for a sub, but I am praying God has something in store for us, for me that is coming into our lives SOON. My overall dream is to teach again. I miss teaching, and it is a job that I am okay leaving Hatley each day for, and I think when you find a job like that, it is a good job and a good fit....

How are you feeling? Are you where you are supposed to be at? I would love prayers and if you want some, let me know so I can pray for you.... let's figure this out...

So, okay God. Where you want me?